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The fire that burned out hearts part 2: A shadow false of life?

 

‘See those fallen shadows there

Are the shadows false of life?’

~except from poem by anonymous 

 

When l wake up in the morning l love to hear the song of the birds, crickets and our loud chickens in the storehouse echoing to let them out before the crickets disappear from the grass. But within all that noise, a voice also echoes - a person singing, it is Meja. He has a different tune each morning and today he was singing alongside his radio a luo song. 

Mornings weren’t complete until you hear a collection of these sounds…the birds in the sky, crickets, chicken then Meja. Oh and incase you overslept in the house of Wuod, my father, then you would hear also mum’s voice pulling you out from your sweet slumber. Their house their rules, in the house of Wuod everyone including our cat was to be awake by 8am.

l personally hated mornings, and so any opportunities to be sent out to get something from the shop l would always jump at it, if not l would be stuck with morning house chores which l disliked. Lucky for me that morning mum sent me to get bread and milk from the corner shop. On my way passing Meja’ compound his gate was open and he was tending to his vegetables. 

 Meja: ‘ Sasa Lucille umeaka aje? 

(Hi Lucille, how have you woken up?)

Me: Salama sana, nawewe? 

(Very well, and you?)

Meja: Mimi pia, namshukuru Mola. Enda salama.

(Me too l thank God. Go well)

Me: Asante.

(Thank you)

 And with that l bid him bye and rush to the shop. My morning were quite routine- birds, crickets, chicken, Meja singing. But they were mornings when instead of Meja’s singing you would first hear the wife screaming then for 1-2 weeks all silence from his compound. During that time, it was because the police had come to pick Meja up and forcefully put him in the mental hospital. He claimed to sometimes see or hear things in his compound that are not there, and the wife and children would have to run away from him when that happens, as he would chase after them armed with an axe. 

 As a community we all knew Meja had moments when he brain wasn’t right and he needed to go away for sometime then he comes back as himself. So for after 2 weeks or up to 1 month, he would be back to his old self singing each morning and talking to everyone in the community.

 ‘Meja’s moments’ that’s how people in the community termed it. It was those days that his wife and children would leave to stay at their grandparent’s homes and police would come for Meja. Even as a community, we would avoid crossing paths with him as he was very violent during that time. A psychotic episode is what a doctor who came with the police once said. He would be released and readmitted days at a time. 

 Weeks before his death are quite vivid. According to his wife, Meja was now faithfully talking his medications that would prevent the violent outbursts. Each morning instead of singing alongside the radio as he usually did, he sang instead Swahili gospel tunes like ‘Unanijua vyema bwana…’, ‘ Niongeze kwa safari…’ ‘Nisamehe…’ He did that each morning until the day he ended his own life.

 Looking back l couldn’t help but wonder if those were the signs to his end or was his shadow already false of life?

 

 

 

 

 



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