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Showing posts with the label Typical Girl Diary

The Messenger

“Mama! Mama!” That call became her signature tune, the sound that made her mother’s heart skip a beat every time she heard it. This is the story of Ella, the family’s messenger of doom. A role she never asked for, but one that somehow chose her, maybe because she is the eldest daughter in the family of Habbu. Ella is the fourth child out of eight. Before her are three brothers whom Habbu, their father, sent to the white man’s land, America, to study and make something of themselves. So when they left, Ella became the eldest at home, holding the fort for everyone else. She took care of her parents, her younger siblings, and in many ways, became the glue that kept the family running. With that came another role, that of the bearer of news. All news. But mostly, bad ones. The first message came like a thief in the night. A telegram from Nairobi. Her younger sister’s husband had died, barely two years into marriage, leaving behind two little children, one still breastfeeding. There were n...

Calling on Our Ancestors

When I think of prayer, I remember that the African way was often through calling on our ancestors. Long before formal religion came to our lands, our people believed that those who had gone before us still walked with us, standing at the threshold between the living and the divine. Ancestors were not distant shadows but custodians of wisdom, protectors of families, and intercessors who carried our cries to God. Whether through libations poured on the earth, whispered names in the quiet of the night, or ritual gatherings around the fire, prayer in Africa was deeply relational, a way of keeping the bond between generations unbroken. I never imagined I would one day find myself reaching for that path. But when my niece lay in a hospital bed, and doctors struggled to find a clear diagnosis for her discomfort, I felt powerless. That night, my sister sent a message saying the doctor suspected a heart defect. My younger sister and I had just left Gertrude’s Children’s Hospital around 3 a.m.,...

Break-up, the slow drift

Breaking up is the easy part Just ending it and wishing the other person the best… Sounds easy right? Or say you are better off without me… Easy right? Yes, l do say yes!   So what is the hardest part? The gear-shift drift This is just after the break-up For a few weeks or months you loath the breakup and delete all signs of the person in your life Next, you miss the person and search for a few photos of the person with you in a group photo I only leave group photos  Even for a split second, you think of checking in on them on social media   The stop-over drift  You look back into the relationship… The good…the bad…the toxic And justify breaking up, and now you no longer miss the person  You love and enjoy meeting other people  And maybe even reach out to the one that got away   The 360-degree drift This is the curveball Your ex reaches out saying they miss you You now have a decision to make, to turn b...

Who's to say part 5: The pause I needed

  Yikes 2! So, my acne treatment from my mwitu Doctor seemed to be working but l unfortunately didn’t notice something until it was too late. To understand how this happened, l may have to tell you about my routine during that time. It was more of work, sleep, remember to eat and repeat. To be honest l used to be consumed with my work that I forgot to eat at times, i had a job that consumed me and l liked it. I was a workaholic and worked till odd hours and more often than not, ended up consuming one meal a day or just a snack. Funnily enough l always remembered to sleep or it was more of my body giving in to its physiological need. I lost 10kg within a month!   ‘My child you haven’t been eating!’   These were among the first words my mum said to me when l went to visit them at home. Dad’s reaction was more of, ‘He! Kwani there was no food in Nairobi?’ Mum then told me to ask my boss to work from outside Nairobi so l can regain a healthy weight. After talking ...

Who's to say part 4: Yikes what happened?

 'Yikes what happened?' I liked the people who asked me directly to my face rather than whispering to my back. This is actually a funny story...so just be prepared to laugh..or not...some people are definitely hard rocks to cracks. Take my elder sister Lauren for example...you would tell her the most funny joke that made everyone in the office laugh their ribs off but she wouldn't even crack a smile and you are left explaining your joke that is cracking you up to the point it stops being funny. The only time she would really laugh happens in situations where most people wouldn't e.g. looking like a hippie in an outfit/ having angry bird eyebrows/ mispronouncing english words. These and so many more that are considered embarrassing to the next human being cracks her up. One just needs to say these magic words, 'Nakaa aje? (How do l look?) or ‘What do you think?' and be ready. If all is ok she won't laugh but if by any chance you always look like a hippie (li...

Who's to say part 3: So what can you eat 1?

Click this to check part 2  'So what can you eat?' Jolly asks as she looks over the menu to me.  We are seated at Java for a catchup and for the first time l can say l know what exactly l can eat. 'I'll have a Grilled chicken sandwich with brown bread please' I say to the waiter as he approached our table.  Knowing exactly what l was to eat hasn't always been an easy sail. I had many fails. I still remember the times l ate something then afterwards realized  wasn't supposed to. My guilt afterwards would make me put the Beyoncé 'freedom song' then embark on a 15-20 minutes exercise to 'burn' the forbidden. 'Singin' freedom! freedom! Where are you? cause l need freedom, too I break chains all by myself Won't let my freedom rot in hell Hey! I'ma keep running Cause a winner don't quit on themselves' Beyoncé's Freedom lyrics    'Kasanda...come we make a shopping list on what you eat' These were the first first d...

Who's to say part 2: Burn burn burn!

Click this to check Part 1 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...'                                                                  -Kelly Clarkson The first song in my playlist as I clicked play in the maximum insanity workout video . I wanted to start strong. 'Burn burn burn!' being my mantra for my weight loss journey. It took me almost half a day to create the perfect carefully crafted playlist for my exercise routine, kinda like creating a playlist to motivate one in doing the dreaded house chores. For house chores I often like to start strong with hip hop especially with the likes of Tupac, Notorious BIG, Kendrick Lamar...then mellow down to Beyoncé , Gloria Gaynor, Rihanna..etc. That is when sing along starts especially with my all all time favorite ' I will Survive by Gloria Gayno...

Who's to say part 1: I can't add any more weight!?

Who's to say? I remember that thought running in my mind throughout that day.   'So this means you have to lose some weight Eat healthy Reduce unhealthy carbohydrates Exercise Am sure if you google you will get more of what needs to be done.'                                                                                     said the Doctor 'Okay okay Kasanda we got this, it doesn't seem hard I mean...it doesn't seem hard...right?   ...my internal monologue as l sat there looking at the Doctor as he tried to explain my scans to me. Radiology is definitely an interesting course! Just from how one would look at an imaging/scan and say enlarged liver for example and all...

THE SOCIETY I LIVE IN

I live in a society whereby the line between normal vs abnormal is completely distorted or otherwise subjective (based on the majority’s judgement). My society has made stating facts such as; I am a virgin, I am celibate till marriage or I don’t drink alcohol to be shunned upon and more often than not it’s taken to be a 'gesir'. The majority are thus taken to be normal but the ones who choose not to conform to societal norms are taken to be abnormal. This is kinda like the way we make a diagnosis of delusional disorder which is characterized by delusions, fixed false beliefs that involve situations that could potentially occur in real life such as being followed or poisoned. These delusions also occur to almost everyone on their day to day basis and they include: Erotomanic delusion-delusion that another person is in love with the individual- how many people have misread signals from a crush or another person that they have feelings for them; Grandiose type- delusion of inflate...

OUR FRIENDS ARE WHO WE ARE

OUR FRIENDS ARE WHO WE ARE O nce a friend approached me in my room and told me that she wished she could be able to discover her real self. Being a specialist in that area, the personality tests like Eysenck personality questionnaire (EPQ) clicked my head, and without faltering, I told her about the EPQ which consists of a set questions with yes or no answers with score sheet which shows ones level of extroversion/introversion, neuroticism/ Stability, Psychotism/Socialization. T he EPQ has a chart showing four temperaments in which one may be categorized according to the characteristics, and they include; Melancholic, Choleric, Phlegmatic and Sanguine. However, my friend felt that these tests only tell who one is on paper and most of the time they make one inclined to behaving in a stated way according to the personality type but what she really wanted was to see a mirror of herself and how she behaves. Thereby, l told her that if she really wanted to know who she is, she shou...