Skip to main content

Why Are Many Children Closer to Their Mother’s Side of the Family? A Look at the Science of Imprinting


Have you ever noticed that many people tend to be closer to relatives on their mother’s side of the family? It’s not necessarily because maternal relatives are kinder or more welcoming sometimes they are, sometimes they aren’t. One possible explanation lies in the science of imprinting and early emotional bonding.

During pregnancy, a mother’s social environment often includes frequent interactions with people from her own family i.e., her siblings, parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. These are often the individuals who call, visit, offer support, and whom she speaks about most often. The developing baby, while still in the womb, is sensitive to the mother’s emotional states and physiological responses. When the mother experiences comfort, familiarity, or joy in relation to these people, those emotional signals can influence the baby’s early associations.

After birth, these same relatives often continue to play a prominent emotional role in the child’s environment. Importantly, this exposure is not only physical but emotional through the tone of conversations, the warmth in interactions, and the feelings the mother expresses when discussing or engaging with them. Over time, these repeated emotional cues may contribute to a subtle form of imprinting, shaping the child’s sense of familiarity and comfort.

This may help explain why, even if a child has not seen a maternal relative for a long time, they can sometimes reconnect quickly and feel an immediate sense of ease. Early emotional associations formed before and shortly after birth can leave lasting impressions that influence how relationships develop later in life.

How Can Relatives on the Father’s Side Imprint More Strongly?

Imprinting, however, is not fixed. Emotional bonding continues to develop throughout childhood, meaning that relatives on the father’s side can also build strong imprints if they are consistently present in the child’s emotional environment.

When paternal relatives frequently visit, spend meaningful time with the child, participate in caregiving, or are spoken about positively and often within the household, they too become part of the child’s emotional landscape. If the father actively maintains close ties with his family and integrates them into daily family life through visits, shared experiences, storytelling, celebrations, or support during important moments the child begins to associate those relatives with safety, familiarity, and affection.

In essence, imprinting strengthens through repeated emotional experiences. When paternal relatives provide warmth, engagement, and reliability, the child forms the same sense of comfort and belonging with them. Over time, these interactions can build bonds that are just as strong, sometimes even stronger than those with maternal relatives.

Ultimately, closeness in families is less about which side someone belongs to and more about who is emotionally present, consistent, and involved in a child’s life.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Scars and a Breath

 Some stories find you and change you. This one did. In today’s post, I’m honoured to share a deeply moving account of pain, survival, and unexpected grace. It's a story of resilience, recovery, and what it means to return from the edge with five scars and a breath. Shared with permission and written in her own words: Five Scars and a Breath " At the beginning of last year, I became fluent in the language of pain. I knew the routine by heart - walk into the hospital, wince through registration, and recite my prescription like a nurse: Start with 40 milligrams of Nexium, top up with another 40 if the pain doesn’t retreat. I wasn’t a doctor, but I played one with practiced confidence. Until one day, the pain didn’t follow the script. They gave me 80 milligrams of Nexium, then paracetamol. The pain remained, stubborn and screaming. Then came the opium. Relief arrived cloaked in a darkness so absolute it stole my sight. The pain retreated but not without a warning. I finally surre...
4 comments
Read more

Calling on Our Ancestors

When I think of prayer, I remember that the African way was often through calling on our ancestors. Long before formal religion came to our lands, our people believed that those who had gone before us still walked with us, standing at the threshold between the living and the divine. Ancestors were not distant shadows but custodians of wisdom, protectors of families, and intercessors who carried our cries to God. Whether through libations poured on the earth, whispered names in the quiet of the night, or ritual gatherings around the fire, prayer in Africa was deeply relational, a way of keeping the bond between generations unbroken. I never imagined I would one day find myself reaching for that path. But when my niece lay in a hospital bed, and doctors struggled to find a clear diagnosis for her discomfort, I felt powerless. That night, my sister sent a message saying the doctor suspected a heart defect. My younger sister and I had just left Gertrude’s Children’s Hospital around 3 a.m.,...
1 comment
Read more

The Messenger

“Mama! Mama!” That call became her signature tune, the sound that made her mother’s heart skip a beat every time she heard it. This is the story of Ella, the family’s messenger of doom. A role she never asked for, but one that somehow chose her, maybe because she is the eldest daughter in the family of Habbu. Ella is the fourth child out of eight. Before her are three brothers whom Habbu, their father, sent to the white man’s land, America, to study and make something of themselves. So when they left, Ella became the eldest at home, holding the fort for everyone else. She took care of her parents, her younger siblings, and in many ways, became the glue that kept the family running. With that came another role, that of the bearer of news. All news. But mostly, bad ones. The first message came like a thief in the night. A telegram from Nairobi. Her younger sister’s husband had died, barely two years into marriage, leaving behind two little children, one still breastfeeding. There were n...
Post a Comment
Read more