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A Father’s Love

“A mother’s love is seen and felt…”


Behavioural scientists have long documented the differences between men and women, often highlighting subtle contrasts in how care and affection are expressed. In many of these discussions, mothers are portrayed as the more nurturing parent, soothing, expressive, emotionally present. Popular books like ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’ have further simplified these differences, making them easy to digest, easy to repeat, and easy to believe.


But who is to say a father is not just as nurturing only that his love speaks a different language?


Where a mother might hug a crying child and rock them gently until the tears subside, a father might quietly ask what happened and then disappear briefly, returning with a sweet, a snack, or an idea that might fix the problem. Not because he doesn’t feel the pain, but because his instinct is to solve, to restore balance, to make things okay again in the way he knows how. 


As children grow older, this difference becomes even more pronounced. A mother will call daily, checking in, listening patiently as her adult child pours out frustrations about work, relationships, finances, and life in general. She offers comfort simply by being present. A father, on the other hand, may listen quietly in the background. He may not say much at the time, but his mind is working. He is wondering how to ease that burden.


And so his love shows up differently.


It might come as a casual suggestion of a family trip. A sudden interest in discussing football whether with his sons or daughters. A long conversation about politics, or an animated complaint about the farm workman who is always late. On the surface, these conversations seem random, even unnecessary. But in them, fathers are listening closely. They are measuring tone, enthusiasm, and silence. They notice when you are not your usual self, when your responses are shorter, when your laughter doesn’t quite reach your eyes.


And when they sense something is off, they will often turn to their wives and say, “Have you talked to them lately?”


A mother’s love is loud, emotionally expressive, immediate, and easy to recognise. A father’s love is also loud, but in a different frequency. It lives in provision, protection, planning, and the constant, quiet question: How do I make this easier for them?


So as you send your mother her monthly upkeep, remember this: send some to your father too. Not because he asks. Not because he complains. But because his love though quieter has been steady all along.


And that, too, deserves to be seen.


 

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